Why none of my co-workers could work with addicts

It was really terrible. I was jones-ing for a jelly bean. I mean I NEEDED it. I couldn't work, I couldn't talk, I just wanted a SWEET JUICY STARBURST JELLY BEAN. But alas, the sweet juiciness was not to be had. Were my co-workers interested in getting to the root of my irrational need for a jelly bean? Not at all. There were however, some interesting different reactions:

"Never Sleeps" wouldn't give me one. Neither would Little Bit. They were firm. They didn't really care, but they were firm. So they get 4 out of 5 stars for crisis management. However, I still would not recommend they ever work in a drug rehab facility because neither of them was interested in my mental state, just in the fact that I didn't know where said jelly beans were hidden.

Miss Kitty gets 0 stars. In fact, Miss Kitty should have stars taken away for her reaction to my plight. What does Miss Kitty say when I ask for a measly TWO awesome jelly beans (total calorie intake: approximately 15)? Miss Kitty says, "Here, take this 75 calorie chocolate truffle instead". Damn you Miss Kitty. Damn you and your scrumptous random chocolate. (Yes, I ate it. It was great).

I Heart Gordmans decides she's going to help me. This is an interesting case because I think I Heart Gordman's has the best capacity for understanding how to attack a "fix" in moderation. She suggested I have two jelly beans only and agreed to help me (with the implied understanding that she would wrestle me to the ground if I tried to get more than two out of that bag). However, she totally botched the delivery of the package to me BY EATING THE JELLY BEANS HERSELF once they were in her possession. I do not believe this was preconceived. 2.5 stars for I Heart Gordmans. Because I can't judge her for eating the yumminess that was in her hands.

So as I sit here today, jelly-bean-less, it is concerning to me that I freaked out over candy yesterday. I am worried I may have a problem. A problem that clearly my co-workers are not equipped to handle. Idid a little research on candy addiction and it turns out to be real (sort of). There is even an iPhone app!

"Addicted to Candy". I've copy/pasted from the website (apparently the maker of the app originally designed it with drugs, but I guess Apple wouldn't let them use it...so they went with a more ubiquitous, but no less dangerous, item).

The premise of Candy Wars is that 30 years into the future candy has gone the way of cocaine and been banned. So you must work the streets and sell brownies, sour tarts and sugar sticks so addicts can get a fix for their sweet tooth. Prohibition 3: Candy Wars is a very simple game but does what it is supposed to do well. It is a reworked, touch-screen friendly remake of Drug Wars, which was written for DOS about 25 years ago. It stays true to the simplistic interface and delivers some addicting fun.



The premise of Candy Wars is pretty simple — buy low and sell high. The interface involves switching between a screen where you can buy or sell the illegal candy substances and a subway menu that lets you travel to different parts of New York. As supply and demand goes there are different prices for the candy throughout the sections of New York. So buy candy cheaply and sell it for a profit to grow your business. Getting good at the game requires a combination of knowing where to buy the candy on the cheap and finding the right places to sell for a higher profit. You also need to develop enough cash and supply to deal with how the market fluctuates. These can be quite rapid so sometimes it is worth making the sale before checking all the other areas for the best price.



Some wrenches are thrown in to your plan through loan sharks and Food and Drug Administration agents. A pop-up message will warn you that loan sharks are demanding repayment or that you are being chased by the FDA. Charming the agents with some of your pixie dust or hiding in an alley can avert the confiscation of your stash.

I can't think of a game I would be better at. Business combined with my own understanding of candy addiction would make a "candy lord" in the Midwest. Except I'd be addicted to my own product....Oh well, maybe when they come out with "Addicted to Mushrooms"....I would rock at that game.